I'm Capable Thanks

(i'm the person running)

A) I hate running

B) I can open the door on my own thanks

C) I don't like to hold people up - i'd much rather they get on with their day rather than thinking they have to remain polite. 

Bae

Normally, i'm the one whose up on all the teen slang...

But BAE doesn't even make sense and it makes the person who uses it look like a dick so just STOP IT please. 

Microwave Madness

When people don't clear the numbers on the microwave. 

If you are going to put something in the microwave for 30 seconds then take it out after 20 well you better be clearing those numbers down to zero or there will be hell to pay! 

Boring Branson

All I want to do is watch ANTM...

But nooooo Virgin Media has decided to block all webistes that stream old-school America's Next Top Model - goooddddd Richard Branson why do you hate me so much?!

Damn You Dust!

Where do you even come from?! 

I clean the bathroom so it's completely spick and span with not even one dust particle to be seen, I then pop downstairs to offload my cleaning supplies, walk back upstairs to admire my work and EVERYTHING is covered in one inch of black dust again! ARRRGGHHH. 

Preach Off

Why even go on and on?

I made up my mind on religion as an educated 8-year-old (atheist ftw) and no amounts of threats and shouting at me about how i'm going to 'hell' is going to change that. 

Thatcher

Thatcher is the biggest knob of them all.