Eric Pickles

Obese knob.

Vince Cable

He too, is guess what... a knob. 

Theresa May

Proper knob. 

Hague

What a knob. 

George Osborne

He's also a knob. 

Cameron

He's just a knob. 

Shhhhhh

Why must one theme confuse me so much? 

New Jack's gimmick is that his theme plays non-stop throughout his matches but it just confuses me to no end!

Normally a wrestler's theme ends as soon as they get into the ring but NOOO New Jack's just keeps on playing and playing and playing, this confuses my little mind as i'm like eehhh he's already in the ring and has been for the last 20-minutes yet his theme is non-stop. 

I've just about got my head round it now, but it took a long time to get there. 

John Cena

I don't even want to waste my time writing why I hate him BUT I DO SO MUCH. 

Pull-Ups

Just stay in place!

I have a love/hate relationship with tights. I love them as I wear them everyday and they can turn any outfit round but I HATE them when they are too little so slip down my legs with every step thus having to make un-ladylike movements to pull them up in the middle of a shop.  

Pop Off

Just pop-off already!

When you find a delicious sugary popcorn piece and it's like God has sent you a gift from heaven itself BUT then alas there are no more to be found in your whole XL bag of sugar popcorn :(. 

?????

How ignorant!

Yano when you don't immediately reply to somebody's question on Facebook as you've been busy working and having a life then they send multiple ?????'s a day later - well I think it's just plain rude BYE GIRL BYE DELETE. 

Daily Fail

Just play already goddamit! 

I hate it when I want to watch a 20-second video on the Daily Mail of Kim K's latest outing with North but I have to watch a 30-second advertisement before it.  

What A C**t

I can't believe I used to look up Perez Hilton.  

He's one of the reasons why I got into journalism, I used to worship PerezHilton.com and would jump for joy every time I got a FIRST comment and when he popped up on Celebrity Big Brother I was megz excited. 

But then well ya'll seen what he's like and now he's all the way down there with Beyonce (who he loves so another reason why to hate him.)

I just hope when he leaves the house he realises everybody hates him and just vanishes off the place off the planet and lets Holy Moly reign supreme for all the latest gossip about z-list celebs we don't care about.

The Avengers

It was supposed to be the movie event of THE YEAR but when it came to it, it was just CGI fighting, more CGI fighting and a bit more CGI fighting - even Chris Hemsworth's deliciousness couldn't save it! 

Fame

Why did they even try and remake such a classic then make it a PG thus taking all of the good stuff about the original Fame away? Idiots. 

GBF

This is another film that promised SO MUCH but never delivered. 

Mean Girls 2

For the love of God, please please please NEVER EVER watch this film - it is the absolute worst and you'll only end up regretting it for life. 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It's not a terrible film or anything it's just that it's my favourite book of the whole serious (possibly of all time) and the movie is nothing like it! 

The Matrix

No matter how awake I am when Benny puts on The Matrix, even if I have just downed a whole can of Monster, I will fall asleep 10 minutes (if even that) when watching this film. 

Interstellar

I was soooo bored that half-way through I got up and put clothes away, dried new ones, changed the bed and cleaned the bathroom and I HATE all those tasks - that'w how boring it was. 

Under Pressure

Every other Sunday I will bring you a guest post, my first ever post is from the ever so cute Annaliese Porritt... 

Being in Y6 is quite hard with all the pressure of being at the top of the school and every one looking up to you - as we are told a hundred times a day! Personally I think it is the toughest year, that’s why I look forward to playtime so I can relax.

However, our lower KS1 think of it as a time of fun and play and run riot! While, I do agree they should have fun they keep barging into everyone which results into a painful accident for the unexpected Y6 – INCLUDING ME.

We then have to explain to the teacher why we suddenly have a huge bump/bruise/gouge only to get told: “Just run it off” or “Put a wet paper towel on it” they then take a quick glance and move on to the next victim in line – we deserve better!

 Thank you for reading, Annaliese Porritt, 11.

Hoover Horror

As Balo would say Why Always Me?

Whenever I hoover the stairs with the hosey thing the hoover itself always tumbles down and bashes me on the head mega hard WITHOUT FAIL.

I really need to learn some hoover techniques, or just let Benny do it, I prefer the latter.

CelebriWHO?!

Who the hell are Alexander O'Neil and Jeremy Jackson?! 

Seriously, does anybody know? Back in the day Celebrity Big Brother used to have legit celebs like Michael Barrymore and Mark Owen - now they have tarts from MTV shows nobody watches and some washed-up singer from the 90s.

Hey Endemol, i've been in my local newspaper a few times and people know who I am and are all like HEY CHANTAL (this has legit happened to me at last five times) so surely that's more then enough to get me a spot on next year's show?

Bore-Off Bony

Just, don't even NO. 

I'm not even going to waste words on this traitor so bye bye Bony have fun sitting on the bench at Man City for the rest of your playing career. 

It's alright mate i've already replaced you on my Fantasy Football team with the much prettier Gomis so off you toddle.

Music AficioNOdos

"I wasn't born in the 80s so I don't know any songs." 

REALLY?! I hate it when the kids on X Factor spout this nonsense - if this was the case for everyone I wouldn't have anything on my iPod to listen to! 

If they were such music aficionados they would go back in music history and listen to GOOD music rather then bumming Adele, Rihanna and the dreaded Beyonce.  

Get a life and a decent Spotify playlist. 

Crustless Chaos

Crustless quiche's aren't QUICHE at all. 

The crust is the best bit! Why would you deprive yourself from the flaky amazigness. 

Just no. 

Big Andy C

He may be one of the world's most beautiful men but he ain't 'alf a dickhead. 

Yes, he's mega hot and he's an amazing footballer when he isn't injured (so for 6 weeks of the season) but he really, REALLY annoys me.

Let's go back to last year's World Cup where Andy Carroll was on standby, but instead of training with the rest of the England team he was on holiday with his TOWIE tart. 

Another instance, it was Father's Day and he kept posting on Instagram pictures of his kids and how much he loves them but where was he? On holiday AGAIN, why didn't you just stay at home Andy, EH? 

And now with his tacky as hell pink palace - well that's just the bottom line! NUH-UH HONEY. 

Sliders

Please just slide off a cliff. 

Now, I do like me an ugly shoe but if the God that is Karl Lagerfeld can't even make me like something then you know it's bad. 

I just don't see the love for them and Glamour had the cheek to say pair them up with a wooly sports sock for good measure - ER NO TA, I would rather watch a Beyonce concert, okay maybe not that dramatic but you get where i'm coming from.

Pass me a Valentino Rockstud any day of the week please.  

Too Much

Too much of something is bad enough.

I have more fashion and lifestyle magazines then I have sense and that's what I am hating on/stressing about today. 

There's just too many to go through and not enough time and once I think it gets to a manageable level my three subscriptions (Elle, Glamour, Cosmo) come sliding through the letterbox. 

That Marie Claire down at the bottom there is from JUNE 2013 - but the thing is I can't bear to throw any of them away because WHAT IF there's something amazing on P362 of Vogue US March 2014?! 

Beyonce

I just don't understand the love. 

Her fashion sense is totes fug, her lyrics make NO sense (To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left LOL WUT?) and worst of all she wears trainers made from poached elephant skin, which is quite frankly utterly disgusting. 

Even if she killed Obama, The Queen and a bunch of babies while off her face on acid people would still call her Queen Bey and praise her. 

Following The Money

Footballers who follow for money and not their hearts!

I hate it when players leave smaller clubs to go to 'bigger' clubs knowing fine well that they won't even end up on the bench once they get there.

Yes, you may get a few more dolla in your pay check but you also never get a worthwhile game and you break millions of fan's hearts around the world while doing so.

I'M LOOKING AT YOU REMY, VORM AND POTENTIALLY MY MAIN MAN BONY.

If Bony leaves Swansea to go to Man City, I will kill myself.