Go Wild

When people get one set of partial blonde highlights and think they have changed their hair MEGA style - guurrrlll go from mid-length ginger locks to a short black bob all in one sitting, then get back to me. 

Nail Art

Oh god, don't even get me started or we'll be here forever. 

Twilight

Again, never watched/read it and never will watch/read it - why would you waste your time on Twilight when you can watch and read Harry Potter?! 

The Notebook

Never watched it and never will. 

Romance films are the worst kind of films, why would you ever want to make yourself cry on purpose?! 

Still obsessed with Ryan Gosling though. 

Pumpkin Crap

Pumpkins aren't even good on Halloween...

You can never carve them out to a good enough standard, they taste like YAK yet everybody is obsessed with pumpkin everything - that's why I hate them. 

Yankee Candles

What does 'Be Thankful' even smell of? 

Why have they all got such pretentious names, cost sooo much and smell of yak? Just pass me an air freshener please. 

Topshop Terror

Why must I have such average sized feet?!

I was in Topshop last week and fell in love with the above shoes, a pair of glittery wedges, two pairs of ankle boots and some ballerinas YET they were only available in a minuscule size 3 or a dragalicious size 8/9.

AND they were all mega cheap too at £10ish a pop - why must you hate my average sized feet Topshop? TBF it's all because the good shoes do go out first thing in the sale in the normal sizes but I don't want them when they first go in the sale as they are at stupid prices then.

Oh well i'll just have to live my life without an XL pom-pom'd pair of satin slippers.

Netflix United KingDUMB

Life isn't fair.

While the US Netflix gets Mean Girls, FRIENDS and WWE documentaries, us poor bastards over the pond get stuck with Mean Girls 2, Educating Yorkshire and 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. 

Yes, I do have a proxy so I can watch all the USAmazingness but this doesn't stretch to my iPad and TV so i'm stuck with watching The Office US again and again and again as it's the only decent show on there. 

Arsene's Anorak

It makes him look quite the fool.

I do love Arsene, he's dead cute but he needs to either get a big warm wooly coat or get a slip on puffa jacket with no zip!

It makes me sad when he fails to zip it up properly or can't find his pockets and just has to stand there freezing - he could catch a bad cold being like 80-years-old.

I know he has a new jacket by Puma which does zip up with no hitch - but i'm sure he's already failed with that one too - poor bloke :(

Kids These Days

Lazy little so and sos. 

When I travel into work I have to go past Macmillan (Macmillan CTC represent!) and yes it's nice going by and remembering all the fond memories of times gone by BUT the traffic is HELL. 

Rather then the simple 20-minute journey of a Saturday afternoon it instead takes 50 minutes to get to work and all because there are SOOOOO many parents dropping off their kids in the car.

BACK IN MY DAY we would either get the school bus, the public bus (which had significantly better people on it S.O to Katie, Kirsty and Sarah Lui!) or even.......... walk *gasp/shock horror!*

No wonder kids are obese if they are getting dropped off door to door everyday and then give BS reasons to get out of PE (although playing hocky on astro turf in the middle of winter is plain torture so I can't blame them for that.) 

Clumsy Channy

It's not like I'm especially long-limed or have XL feet. 

Yet why am I so incredibly clumsy? Today I managed to have two spectacular falls within two hours. 

The first I tripped over in town and then heard a chav go "Ahhhhh did you see her fall over?!" *CRINGE* then the second time I was carrying some business cards down the stairs and I fell down the steps and dropped loads ALL OVER - double cringe.

I wish I could just stay upright! 

Lana Del WTF?!

No, baby girl, no. 

Under any normal circumstance, Lana Del Rey is FLAWLESS with her 60's rocker boho babe vibe but then she turned up to the 2015 Golden Globes in whatever this get-up is!

She looks like an armature drag queen who hasn't learnt how to contour properly yet, thinks bigger is better when it comes to hair extensions and picked up the cheapest tackiest dress they could find in Lipsy.

Please LDR, for the sake of us all, pull yourself together for your next red carpet soiree. 

Wherefore Art Thou J.Law?

Oh J Law, J Law, wherefore art thou J Law? 

Where has she vanished too?! She hasn't popped up anywhere during the awards season in a Dior gown at all and it's making me upset :( 

Please attend the Oscars J Law or what's the point in living anymore?! 

Delish

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

Just cake in general. 

Me Lad

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

I ain't soppy so i'll keep this short. 

I love me lad, he's the best in the world - I don't understand how he has put up with me for 9 years though so for that alone you've got to salute him.

Love you Benny. 

Hats Off To You

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

Hats off to you Miss...

Hats can turn even the most drab of outfits into a fab rocker look and for that alone is why I love them so much.

Stuffed Crust Pizza

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

That all important ring of cheese can turn any pizza into food sent directly from heaven. 

D&G

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

Oh god, there aren't enough words in the world to describe how much I love EVERYTHING by Dolce & Gabbana so I won't try but BY GOD they are amazing. 

Morrissey

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

He's just so darn perfect. That is all. 

Cutiepies!

As it is officially Valentine's Week instead of writing about what I hate, it's going to be all about what I LOVE this week...

OMMGGG corgis are soooo cute I just want to die!

Everything about them is THE BEST from their little butts through to their floppy ears and their fluffy everything - I just love them soooo much, they are all I go on about. 

However, I have actually never met a corgi :( but the day I do I can guarantee will be the best day of my life. 

Getting Dry

Soooo mundane. 

Getting dry after a shower/bath has got to be the most mundane task in the whole of the land.

It's sooo booorrrinnggg just standing there and begging the towel to pick up all your wet particles but it just not happening - I wish I could just get like a dry machine thing like they have in Flamingo Land. 

I'm Capable Thanks

(i'm the person running)

A) I hate running

B) I can open the door on my own thanks

C) I don't like to hold people up - i'd much rather they get on with their day rather than thinking they have to remain polite. 

Bae

Normally, i'm the one whose up on all the teen slang...

But BAE doesn't even make sense and it makes the person who uses it look like a dick so just STOP IT please. 

Microwave Madness

When people don't clear the numbers on the microwave. 

If you are going to put something in the microwave for 30 seconds then take it out after 20 well you better be clearing those numbers down to zero or there will be hell to pay! 

Boring Branson

All I want to do is watch ANTM...

But nooooo Virgin Media has decided to block all webistes that stream old-school America's Next Top Model - goooddddd Richard Branson why do you hate me so much?!

Damn You Dust!

Where do you even come from?! 

I clean the bathroom so it's completely spick and span with not even one dust particle to be seen, I then pop downstairs to offload my cleaning supplies, walk back upstairs to admire my work and EVERYTHING is covered in one inch of black dust again! ARRRGGHHH. 

Preach Off

Why even go on and on?

I made up my mind on religion as an educated 8-year-old (atheist ftw) and no amounts of threats and shouting at me about how i'm going to 'hell' is going to change that. 

Thatcher

Thatcher is the biggest knob of them all.